How Others Affect Your Happiness in the Workplace
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I’ve often heard it said that you should choose a career that makes you happy. You spend a lot of time at work, and you don’t want to always be miserable. Through personal experience, I know this to be true. I have left a job or two because of it. However, I have also had the unique experience of having a dream job turn to dread simply because of those around me.
Several years ago, I worked for a state agency regulating licensed individuals. I liked most of my co-workers and my boss. I loved my job. After several years of working at places that I didn’t feel used my college degree to its fullest extent, I was happy to finally be doing something I went to college for. I felt I was making a difference for the people in our state.
A couple years later, my husband and I decided to move back to our hometown area. This was several hours from where we currently lived and would mean changing jobs. However, this state agency had a satellite office in the city I was moving to, and although my particular position was not housed in this office, I asked if I could take my job with me. My request was granted and I happily set up shop in my new office. I would still report to my boss in the city I had left; files would still be set up and sent to me from the main office; and any interviews I held with licensed individuals would be handled at the main office. However, day to day responsibilities would be handled from the satellite office.
From day one, I was met with resentment and anger from those working at the satellite office. These individuals made no effort to accommodate me and made it clear they did not want me there. When I complained to my boss, she simply told me to avoid those who were being difficult. Unfortunately, this was not easily accomplished since there were only 4 of us in the office and 2 openly disliked me while the other was nice to my face but badmouthed me behind my back. In a few short months, a job I loved turned into a job that often left me in tears.
Eventually I did move on and took another job that I found fulfilling, if not quite as “perfect” as the one I had left. At times, I still miss that job and those I left behind, although I’m not sure I would still be there regardless of the events that had transpired. It does make me wonder, however, what would have been if I could have only connected with those people and worked through that resentment. Unfortunately, our personalities were such that this was not possible; we simply did not connect.
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Have you ever had job satisfaction and happiness change just because of the people you worked with? What did you do?
Hi Debbie,
I’m catching up on your blog today.
When I think back to jobs I had, one of my very first ones was like how you described. I wasn’t welcomed and often felt pretty alone on the workplace. Fortunately it was a job where I didn’t have to communicate a lot with my coworkers (I was on the phone most of the time), so when I left, I didn’t miss it, nor them.
Other than that, the jobs I’ve held in the corporate world have been great. Like you said, when we like where we work, it’s tough when the time comes we must leave.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..2nd Chance Drawing
Hi Barbara – I’ve been lucky, too, that most of my jobs I’ve gotten along with at least someone and enjoyed the job. Usually when I’ve moved on it’s because I was ready for a change, but there was always someone I left behind that I tried to keep in touch with. When we become adults, the workplace is usually where we make our friends!
Happiness is a state of mind that really depends how we see the situations in our lives each day. you can have all the riches in the world but still see it as a lonely place.-:-
Hi Hayden – Thanks for dropping by! I agree with you for the most part. Only we can decide if we are going to be happy or not. I often get frustrated with people who always want to blame everyone else for their misfortune and unhappiness. However, I also believe that those around us can affect our happiness. When that happens, we have a choice to make. Keep them in our circle or dismiss them. However, that is sometimes easier said than done when you are talking about a work or school environment. In those cases, wouldn’t it make sense to surround yourself with those you relate to? If we don’t have to work so hard at being happy, it just makes life easier.